They can sometimes grow to tip the scale a bit, but they are not all that you are, and time allows you to tip that scale back. You are faulty and wounded, and you might have wounded others, but we are all faulty and wounded. 8 ways to forgive yourself after you hurt someone you care about ... especially if you’re someone who likes to fix things quickly and move on. All it takes is one person to admit they’re wrong to fix an issue. I want you to know that you can and will heal. You maybe can't fix what you broke, but you can build new things to rebalance the equation. If you are feeling guilt about their terrible reactions, work on getting down with the goodness that is you as a whole person who can live honestly, because laying down the honest truth about who and what you are does not make you responsible for another person's decisions based on that truth; it only makes you responsible for continuing to grow into the fullness of who you are.

Trust has been damaged and your job at this point is to attempt to rebuild it.

It doesn’t cost you much thought or consideration, and no one likes cheap gifts. It's still not fantastic to have those ugly pieces of my history there, as it likely won't be for you, but I no longer measure my worth against them. That's a step I did not have the courage to take 20 years ago. Like a writer who paints a picture with words, paint a picture of how you made the issue get to where it ended. But my wife’s heart loves it, and nearly every single time she responds in kind. Here is how I did that.”. I committed to my marriage with the Palinode less than two days later with my whole heart. When you know you hurt someone, being the first person to apologize sets into motion the mending of wounds. What didn't? I received an email from a reader, whom I will call Grace, that I really think warrants a longer and more thoughtful response from me, and when I say longer, I mean longer, so grab a coffee. I was not great relationship material. It was only then that I started to figure out what the real ongoing damage was to my life: I had lost faith in myself, and, to an extent, it was still missing. Starting with one specific thing allows you to go beyond the shallow apologies that most people give. That's a hard truth to swallow. Please do stick around, though, because you might be able to help us out at the end. How do you repair what you did if your goal is to heal the relationship and recover? Very clearly identify the behavior that you engaged in and note the effect it has had.

By really witnessing what your behavior did to your partner and giving him an opportunity to express himself and also by attempting to build back trust you are moving toward repairing the relationship.